Orgnsm Experiencer Notebook

it's my birthday
what the fuck do i care about that?
so fucking drunk
so split-knuckled
fucking dumb drunk
knuckles against wood
let me in
i'm alone on the cold concrete
of my expensive apartment
yet not alone
yet so not fucking alone
so alone
crusting blood trickles
knuckles
now i want more
where did i leave those razors
fresh cut arms
wiping blood against the pages
it's a code you see
see it opening up
so drunk
it's my birthday
give me all of it now
give me what's in the icebox
give me my beautiful fungiqueen
now so tripped
drunk AND tripped
just what black thing
crawled into me
on the floor of the shower
so alone
so not
don't care if i don't wake up
projecting out
so hot hot
the hot water unending on the body
hours maybe
there at the bottom of the shower
this complex has a large hotwater tank
hot hot wet skin
punching through
initial veils
of the astral-inner-out-sight
back on the fucking concrete
bloodcrusted slits
slapping on the concrete
the book
red encodings
splattered
red
fading to orange
switch to inner-sight
punch out
punch the fuck out
of this apartment
of this situation
i don't care if i don't come back
i don't care
i want out
out
there
the treat for my efforts
here
wow
here
see this immense tunnel
no human has seen it
see these insects
fucking immense
white ghostlike
like benthic squid
clattering in
out
around
an orifice in the tunnel
divine beetles of darkness
my vision
my treat to share
slept there
on the concrete
came back
to write this